stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If I die, sorry about rent.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
