Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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