I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
