yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
