my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
