I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
