She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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