Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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