We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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