Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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