Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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