So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
