Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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