There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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