so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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