Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
