just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize