My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
