Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
