Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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