he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
