Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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