Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
