great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
