PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
