I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
