he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
