You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize