she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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