I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
