I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
