my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You pole danced in your parka.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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