Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
