dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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