Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
