I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
