ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
