you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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