so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
