Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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