I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
