Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
where are you?
Hypothermia
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
