My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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