found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize