my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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