i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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