I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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