You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
