i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize