Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think people are normalizing furries
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
