Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
