No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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