oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
