people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
