so explain again why im purple
no
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
