go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
