I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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