How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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