Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he shaved USA in his pubs
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
