I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
