New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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