porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
