You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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